What defines sex addiction for women is the same basic criteria as for men: obsessive time and energy spent on obtaining sex; inability to stop or moderate sexual behaviors despite negative consequences; and increase in negative consequences over time. No single sexual behavior defines sex addiction, but rather a clear destructive sexual/romantic pattern that disturbs relationships, careers, physical and/or emotional health.
Unlike men’s sexuality, women’s sexuality has traditionally been a source of danger as well as shame resulting in increased isolation, secrecy and fear. Because overt sexual expression is out of line with our culture’s traditional view of women, it is not unusual for women to use alcohol, drugs or food to numb the shame of their out-of-control sexual behavior. Women also report the following barriers to seeking treatment: fear of loss of relationships, job and reputation; trauma around violence, pregnancies, abortions; feelings of worthlessness and depression; suicidality
Women who struggle with compulsive sexual behavior often grow up with little or no nurturing and/or physical, emotional or sexual abuse. It becomes easy to confuse sexual acts with intimacy if one has never felt seen, heard or valued for one’s authentic self. Sexually addictive behavior in women can take many forms, both overt (dressing provocatively, trading sex for attention or power) or covert (obsessive fantasy).
In Ready to Heal, author and therapist Kelly McDaniel lists the four cultural beliefs that serve to keep women locked in a losing battle with their sexual behavior:
- I must be “good” in order to be worthy of love;
- If I am sexual, I am “bad”;
- I am not really a women unless someone desires me sexually and/or romantically;
- I must be sexual to be lovable.
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Attempting to create change can be difficult without the right kind of support. At Impulse Treatment Center we help women accept their painful reality, establish workable limits around their sexual expression, identify triggers, and safely move through withdrawal symptoms. Once stabilized, we will also help you link present problems with past history and gently begin to work through old trauma.
Together we will co-create a treatment plan built on your strengths and will continue to support you throughout your healing journey.
